Why Watching Yourself on Video Is a Powerful Learning Tool
by Gilda Bonanno
One of the most effective ways to improve your communication skills is also one of the most avoided: watching yourself on video.
Early in my career, one of my first contracts involved filming people during presentation skills training. This was long before cameras on smartphones.
We used large video cameras you carried on your shoulder, that used physical high 8 mm tapes that had to be played on special machines. I remember carrying all that gear through New York City on a sweltering subway in the summer, then filming participants and handing them their tapes at the end of the session.
And then something disappointing happened. Most of those tapes were never watched.
The Real Reason People Avoid Video
Over the years, I’ve learned why. Many people say some version of the same thing:
· “I hate how I look on camera.”
· “I hate how I sound.”
· “I can’t watch myself.”
Here’s the truth, said with care: that is how you look, and that is how you sound. And clearly, you’re doing fine in the world. You haven’t been shunned from society. You have relationships, a career and people who value you.
The discomfort in watching yourself stems from your unfamiliarity. You’re not used to seeing yourself how others see you.
Yes, the camera does exaggerate things. It adds shadows, highlights wrinkles and captures moments we don’t see in the mirror. But avoiding video because of that means opting out of one of the most powerful feedback tools available.
From Discomfort to Data
The breakthrough comes when you stop watching yourself with judgment and start watching with curiosity.
I’ve watched myself on camera enough times that I no longer think, “Is that really how I look?” I think, “What can I learn here?” That shift turns video from a source of anxiety into a tool for growth.
Nothing makes me sadder than hearing a smart, capable professional say, “I can’t watch myself on video” - because I know the powerful learning tool they’re missing out on and I know they’re reinforcing their negative self-image.
How to Use Video Productively
To get real value from video review, separate reflection from emotion and make it actionable:
1) Watch the video twice.
First, with sound, focusing on clarity and content. Is your message clear?
Then, muted, focusing only on delivery. Notice posture, gestures, facial expressions and energy – do they support your message?
2) Write two “Keep” notes (to continue doing) and one “Improve” note (to change for next time).
This builds confidence and creates focused progress instead of overwhelm.
3) Do another recorded practice session within a week.
Practicing again soon helps lock in improvements and build muscle memory.
A Final Word
This matters for everyone. Do not let discomfort with your appearance or a distorted self-image block access to a tool that can help you grow, lead and be more effective.
Watching yourself on video isn’t about vanity.
It’s about learning.
And learning requires showing up, even when it feels uncomfortable.
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© Gilda Bonanno LLC - Gilda Bonanno serves as a trusted advisor to executives and entrepreneurs to transform their communication, presentation and leadership skills. She has worked with companies on 4 continents, from Chicago to Shanghai and Rio to Rome. The instructional videos on her YouTube channel have received over 1.5 million views and her e-newsletter has reached subscribers in over 45 countries since 2008. For other articles or to receive Gilda's e-newsletter, visit www.gildabonanno.com