by Gilda Bonanno LLC
In today’s organizations, collaboration is essential. But often, we forget what the word truly means. It’s from the Latin collaborare, meaning “to labor together.” And collaboration requires effort. It’s not just about working side by side but about actively adapting so that others’ voices are heard and valued.
When teams span departments, regions or disciplines, differences in communication styles can become obstacles if we ignore them. Effective collaboration depends on recognizing these differences and adjusting our approach. The goal is not to change who we are but to meet others where they are, so that all perspectives can be included.
One of the most practical tools is what I call the Communications Golden Rule™: communicate unto others as they want to be communicated to. This runs counter to the usual advice of treating others the way you prefer. Instead, it requires stepping into their shoes and asking, “How does my message look from their point of view?”
That might mean starting with data when speaking to a numbers-driven colleague, or using a story when working with someone who values narrative. It might mean giving a quick decision-maker concise options, while offering a more reflective colleague the time and space to process. Neither approach is right or wrong; they’re simply different. And your effectiveness hinges on knowing which style resonates with the person in front of you.
These differences show up in many ways. For example:
- Direct vs. Indirect: “Let’s do this” versus “How might we approach this together?”
- Numbers vs. Narrative: Charts and metrics versus stories and analogies
- Quick vs. Deliberate: Fast decisions versus time to ponder and weigh options
- Results vs. Quality: “Get it done fast” versus “Get it done right”
- Logic vs. Emotion: Building an argument with facts versus appealing to values or feelings
- Big Picture vs. Detail: Focusing on vision versus drilling into specifics
- Individual vs. Team: Emphasizing independence versus collaboration
- Consistency vs. Change: Stability and reliability versus innovation and adaptation
- Reserved vs. Expressive: Quiet and measured versus open and enthusiastic
- Control vs. Freedom: Preference for structure versus autonomy
Recognizing and adapting to these preferences transforms potential conflict into productive collaboration.
This flexibility pays dividends. By clearing the runway of miscommunication and misunderstanding before takeoff, you prevent obstacles from blocking progress.
More importantly, you unlock the full potential of your team. When different voices are heard, whether skeptical or enthusiastic, data-driven or intuitive, you build solutions that are more resilient, creative and effective.
Adjusting your communication style is not about being less authentic. It’s about being more effective. In a fast-paced business environment, leaders and professionals who can flex their style will be the ones who get the best from their teams and deliver stronger results.
© Gilda Bonanno LLC - Gilda Bonanno serves as a trusted advisor to executives and entrepreneurs to transform their communication, presentation and leadership skills. She has worked with companies on 4 continents, from Chicago to Shanghai and Rio to Rome. The instructional videos on her YouTube channel have received over 1.5 million views and her e-newsletter has reached subscribers in over 45 countries since 2008. For other articles or to receive Gilda's e-newsletter, visit www.gildabonanno.com