by Gilda Bonanno
When meeting or communicating with people, reactions vary. Every encounter carries a unique blend of emotions—excitement, nervousness, hope or even frustration.
These feelings don’t arise in a vacuum; they’re influenced by our backgrounds, personal experiences and the broader environment. Understanding and acknowledging this range of emotions is essential for building meaningful connections.
One way to build these connections is by practicing what psychologist Daniel Goleman calls the “core competency” in professional and personal relationships—empathy. Simply put, empathy is the ability to understand another person’s feelings and point of view.
The key word here is “understand.” Empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with someone—it means you acknowledge their experience.
Suppose someone says, “I hate working from home. I think it’s terrible.” You may personally love remote work because it makes you more productive, reduces your commute and benefits your family.
Instead of jumping in to disagree or persuade, try responding with curiosity: “It sounds like working from home has been really difficult for you. Tell me more—what’s been the hardest part?”
Empathy isn’t about debating or proving a point—it’s about creating a foundation for genuine connection.
Before we challenge someone’s perspective, we should first seek to understand it.
This aligns with Stephen Covey’s fifth habit from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Instead of rushing to share our perspective, we should focus on truly listening and understanding others first. Only then can we build meaningful, trust-based connections.
By practicing empathy, we build trust, find common ground and create conversations that are open, meaningful and productive. The strongest relationships—both professional and personal—are built not on agreement, but on understanding.