by Gilda Bonanno LLC
Feeling withdrawn or lacking confidence in networking situations is completely normal. Most people, even those who seem naturally outgoing, experience some level of nervousness when meeting new people. The good news? Confidence in networking isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you can build.
If you struggle to start conversations, here’s a strategy
to help you approach networking (in person and virtually) with more ease and
self-assurance.
1. Prepare Beforehand: Never Wing It
One of the biggest mistakes people make in networking is
going in unprepared. If you’re already feeling uncomfortable or shy, walking
into a conversation without a plan will only make things harder. Instead, prepare
a few good questions in advance.
For example, if you're attending a networking event, have a
couple of open-ended questions ready:
- “What
do you enjoy most about your work?”
- “How
did you get started in your industry?”
- “What’s
a project you’re working on that excites you?”
By starting with a question, you shift the focus to the
other person and take the pressure off yourself. You also demonstrate curiosity
and engagement—two key qualities of a great conversationalist.
2. Reframe Your Inner Dialogue
for a Confidence Boost
Confidence starts in your mind. If you tell yourself, “I
hate networking. I’m boring. No one wants to talk to me,” then walking into
a conversation will feel overwhelming. Instead, try shifting your mindset to
something more positive:
- “I’m
smart and capable.”
- “I’m
interesting to talk to.”
- “I’m
here to learn and connect.”
You don’t have to pretend you’re the most extroverted
person in the room, but you do need to replace negative self-talk with
something empowering. Think about what people appreciate about you—your
expertise, your curiosity, your kindness. Focus on those strengths instead of
your nerves.
3. Use a Confidence-Boosting
Mantra to Stay Grounded
When nervousness creeps in, having a simple phrase to
repeat in your mind can be a game-changer. I call this a mantra—a short,
uplifting phrase that helps ground you in confidence.
It could be:
- “I’ve
got this.”
- “I’m
here to connect, not impress.”
- “I
bring value to the conversation.”
Find a phrase that resonates with you and repeat it when
self-doubt starts to creep in.
4. The Power of a Genuine Smile
in Networking
Never underestimate the impact of a warm, authentic smile.
A full, genuine smile that reaches your eyes makes you appear approachable and
friendly. People are naturally drawn to positive energy, and a simple smile can
set the tone for a great conversation.
When you walk into a networking situation, take a deep
breath, smile, and remind yourself that you belong here.
5. Shift Your Perspective:
Networking is Sharing, Not Selling
Many people struggle with networking because they feel like
they’re selling themselves. Instead, shift your perspective—networking
isn’t about selling, it’s about sharing.
Think about it like recommending a great new restaurant: "Oh,
you have to try this new Italian place—their lasagna is incredible!"
That’s the same energy you should bring when talking about
yourself and your work. You’re sharing what excites you, what you’re passionate
about and what you bring to the table. Enthusiasm is contagious, and when you
focus on connecting rather than proving yourself, conversations become
much easier.
6. Confidence in Networking Comes
with Practice
Confidence in networking isn’t about never feeling
nervous—it’s about learning to move forward despite the nerves. Every
conversation you have builds experience and makes the next one easier.
The more you prepare, practice, and shift your mindset, the
more natural networking will feel. So the next time you’re in a room full of
strangers, take a deep breath, smile and remember: You’ve got this.
© Gilda Bonanno LLC - Gilda Bonanno serves as a trusted advisor to executives and entrepreneurs to transform their communication, presentation and leadership skills. She has worked with companies on 4 continents, from Chicago to Shanghai and Rio to Rome. The instructional videos on her YouTube channel have received over 1.5 million views and her e-newsletter has reached subscribers in over 45 countries since 2008. For other articles or to receive Gilda's e-newsletter, visit www.gildabonanno.com