Don’t Network if You Can’t Put on a Happy Face


If you can’t muster up the energy, enthusiasm and confidence necessary to bring your best and positive self to a networking event, stay home.  If you can’t put on a happy face, you are not going to network effectively and make a good impression on people.
Here is a true story of someone who should have just stayed home:
When I was the president of a professional association, I would try to meet all the non-members who came to our meetings.  At one meeting, I introduced myself to someone I didn’t know.  I said, “Welcome, I’m the president of the group and I don’t think I have seen you here before.  Tell me about yourself and what you do.”
He said, “I am an instructional designer.”
I said, “Oh, sounds interesting. You design curriculum and training programs?”
He said, “Yeah, I do.”
I said, “How long have you been doing that?”
He said, “Like 10 years, but these clients, they just don’t get it. They don’t want to invest in training.”
I commiserated, “Yes, I see that all the time, too. It is tough but we have to try to sell them on the value of the work.”
He responded, “Yeah, but they don’t want to put their money into it and then they want to cut the budget and then they want you to do more….”
I tried to turn the conversation to a more positive discussion of his skills, his work or the industry, but he wanted no part of it.  He didn’t make eye contact with me and spoke with no energy in his voice. Clearly, he had been having a bad day and he was venting at me.
What he didn’t realize was that the association had an online job bank and people also reached out to the board sometimes for referrals.  So I was a potential referral source for him as well as a possible connector to others who could give him work. 
But I had no intention of referring him. 
I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you are not making a good impression on me if you can’t muster up enough energy to be mildly enthusiastic when you talk about your chosen profession at an association of people in your chosen profession.  How can I refer you to others or make an introduction?
If you’re not feeling great or if you’re having a bad day, share those feelings with your friends, family and support network, not the random strangers you meet at event that might be in a position to help you.
And the sad fact is that he probably went home thinking it was a terrible event and lamenting the fact that he never got referral business.